Tag Archive
Nights Out Traditionally Crap Claims Historian
Local historians were today hailing the recent radar mapping of the old Priory site a success having discovered several important artefacts. Unearthed Artefacts dating back over 500 years were removed from the site to be catalogued at the nearby Council offices. Famous local historian Henry Tibbett commented, “We have found the remains of sticky... »
Councillor Demands Bank Access
Lib Dem councillor Terrence Dougall has made headlines by demanding Abbey provide access for mums with pushchairs. Self-thinking councillor Dougall, 62, got involved after a post on st-neots.co.uk which whinged about the difficulty climbing three steps to get into the bank, both for parents with buggies and wheelchair users. One mother, who very much... »
Solicitors Disappointed With Christmas Lights
Local injury compensation specialists Win Just Over £7000, LLP have revealed their disappointment with this year’s Christmas lights in the town. Partner Irma Konnman said that his firm had laid on extra staff in the High Street and Market Square last Friday in order to ambulance-chase any victims of falling rigs and masonry. But... »
Similar Town Sues St Neots
Wantage Town Council today issued a writ against St Neots, claiming that it breached copyright law by becoming a small market town outside a major university city. Wantage is around the same distance from Oxford as St Neots is from Cambridge, and as well as being a similar size both towns feature the presence... »
Christmas Lights "Big Switch-On" This Week
St Neots Town Council has announced that the big switch on will be taking place next Friday, 25th July. Dean Dexter, a spokesperson from the Town Council, said “we are absolutely delighted to be switching the lights on next week as it will really help boost trade in the town centre in the run up... »
EU Directive Forces St Neots To Rethink Market Square
St Neots is getting caught up in the new EU Directive 2008/23/EC on Quadrilaterals in Urban Centres which has been transposed into UK law. The new law states that market squares which are not perfect squares must be stripped of their “square” status. Dean Dexter, of St Neots Town Council, said “we are currently... »
St Neots Town Centre "Safe" Complains Local Man
St Neots has unexpectedly been declared “Safe” after a local resident travelled the length of the High Street – and back again – without incident. Theloneius P. Staker, of Eaton Ford, said, “This morning I have walked up and down the High Street, both sides. I have not been hit by a single... »
Grand Opening Of More Empty Shops
St Neots Council today proudly announced the addition of another fourteen empty shops to the town centre. Paines Brewery on the Market Square has stood empty since the late eighties, and after years of stalling has finally been converted into shops, offices and maybe flats, said Cllr Roy Maloy today. “Empty shops now make... »
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