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Sunday December 17th 2017

Posts Tagged ‘News’

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, relying instead on stories lifted directly from social media. In a test of the system recently, the CENITM told readers of a scam involving motorists being [Read More]

Jesus “Ultimate Guest” Say Kyle Team

Jesus “Ultimate Guest” Say Kyle Team

A researcher for Britain’s favourite mid-morning diversion The Jeremy Kyle Show has revealed that the show plans to book Jesus as a guest. “It seems obvious really,” said Robert Kilroy-Silk, who used to host his own show until he turned into an on-air [Read More]

Stealth Gippos Move In

Stealth Gippos Move In

St Neots residents working in north Cambridge were shocked yesterday by an email from security stating that travellers had gained access to their office park. Despite a heavy security presence made up of former Gurkhas dressed in high visibility jackets and hats, the [Read More]

Snow Is Conversation Topper

Snow Is Conversation Topper

Figures released today show that snow, ice, and existing in aforementioned conditions accounted for 82% of all conversational content in the last seven days. As Cambridgeshire shivered its way back to work yesterday, following Monday’s mass skive during which 75% of [Read More]

VIDEO: Fags, Horses, & Frozen Water

VIDEO: Fags, Horses, & Frozen Water

As the country ground to a halt due to an inch of slush this weekend, your intrepid Citizen reporters took their reasonably decent camera out and FOUND THE NEWS. Then we edited it in iMovie, so all the dark patches look a bit digital. Can’t have everything eh. [Read More]

“Keep Burgers British” Says NFU

“Keep Burgers British” Says NFU

The National Farmers’ Union today renewed its calls to ensure that supermarket burgers are made from ingredients sourced in the UK. Following a week of scandal in which it was revealed that frozen burgers sold in Tesco, Iceland and other supermarkets across the [Read More]

St Neots Wakes To Lack Of Winter Wonderland

St Neots Wakes To Lack Of Winter Wonderland

St Neots woke up to a complete lack of wintry weather this morning, after the rest of the country announced via Facebook that it was indeed a “snow day”. Despite feeling a bit sick as we typed snow day, the Citizen ventured out into the world to investigate. [Read More]

Citizen News TV 15/1/13: Joey Cambridgeshire Undercover Report

Citizen News TV 15/1/13: Joey Cambridgeshire Undercover Report

An urgent update from the St Neots Citizen! Undercover reporter Neskin Gonzales managed to catch up with local celebrity Joey Cambridgeshire in St Neots this week. Cambridgeshire did not want to be filmed, so Gonzales selotaped his iPhone to the bottom of his face, and [Read More]

Average Robbie Fan Old

Average Robbie Fan Old

The entertainment world was stunned today to learn that the average age of a Robbie Williams fan is now 52. Late last year, youth-oriented Radio 1 refused to add Williams’ single Candy to its playlists, citing the fact that Williams’ key demographic – who [Read More]

Urban Shortcutter Comes A Cropper

Urban Shortcutter Comes A Cropper

A Cambridge driver has come unstuck by driving his enormous Jaguar onto a cycle bridge. The “unobservant” driver was able to access the decrepit footbridge between Rustat Road and Devonshire Road after mysterious vandals pinched a wooden bollard. Eyewitnesses [Read More]

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This Just In

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Neotians were this week beginning to prepare for 2014′s predicted favourite sport – namely, complaining [Read More]

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

District and county councillor Steve van der Whitevanman caused controversy this week after he definitely didn’t [Read More]

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Meat experts have today shocked the British public with the real reason behind the horse DNA contamination scandal. [Read More]

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, [Read More]

New School Thief-Proof

New School Thief-Proof

South Cambs DC have revealed that new secondary school Cambourne Village College is designed with special anti-theft [Read More]

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