Posts Tagged ‘Oi!! Magazine’
Councillor Takes Ball Home
Councillor throws hissy fit and refuses to continue playing with the 'bigger boys' [Read More]
Aliens Abduct Entire Town Council
Keen watchers of Town Council politics cannot fail to have noticed the recent absence of activity amongst its members. The usual high profile civic campaigns; dodgy fences, purple-headed bollards, 2ft high bumps in the road to name a few, have quietly disappeared from our [Read More]
Decision To Stop Making Decisions Nearly Taken
Collusion between otherwise opposing sides of St Neots public representatives has virtually disabled The Citizen, The Citizen can exclusively reveal. Almost overnight all parties, including most local papers, have collectively decided to stop making decisions about [Read More]
Eynesbury Razed To Ground While Cops Natter
Urban St Neots Eastside wasteland Eynesbury was set fire to last Monday evening. Beginning in a half full blue wheelie bin, the fire quickly took hold and burnt out the last 3 remaining working motors in Mallard Lane. From then on it was difficult to tell which was derelict [Read More]
Town Council Rethink On Election Strategy
The Citizen understands that the Town Council has appointed the team that brought a landslide Democrat victory in the USA to run its next election campaign. In a stunning move to outflank opposition contenders changes to party representatives have already started. The [Read More]
“Fuck The Lot Of You!” Says Town Leader
In an apparent bid to sway public opinion in favour of the the Town Council and copy the current tactics of the Nu-Labour government, Council leader Derek Miles, speaking at the party’s monthly conference today, decided honesty was the best policy. At a hastily [Read More]
St Neots “Will Never Join Sexual Revolution” Says Town Elder
The national furore over the lyrics to American hot babe and vocaliser and songstress Katy Perry’s tune, “I Kissed A Girl” has finally hit St Neots. Local defender of standards and former town councillor Bob Topshelf, 91, said, “They tried it in the [Read More]
Sandbanks Now Rivalled by Eynesbury Riviera
Multi-million pound properties in the exclusive Dorset region of Sandbanks have been pushed into 5th place in the list of the world’s most expensive real estate by the current development on the Great Ouse East Bank. Even the most fervent supporters of St Neots [Read More]
St Neots Multi-Screen Has New Backer
In an amazing turn of events the doomed scheme to provide St Neots with a state of the art multi-screen cinema complex has been revived due to the interest of a major movie chain. “All Things Electrical (And Widescreen Cinemas) 2008 Ltd.” yesterday announced [Read More]
Summer Water Shortages Hit St Neots
Anglian Water has announced that the record sunshine (4 hours, 22 minuts and 14 seconds) experienced in town over the weekend has evaporated the reserves that the company has worked so hard to conserve over the past three years of continuous rain. Although spending just [Read More]
