Posts Tagged ‘Police’
Written by Citizen Editor on 04 September 2011
Regular readers of the online edition of the Cambridge Used-To-Be-In-The-Evening News were today shocked to discover a new standard police image on a story about something to do with a road. Traditionally, the website is too lazy to take pictures of [Click to read more...]
Written by A.J Oke on 03 September 2011
As the bridge is opened over the Great Ouse, St Neots Citizen has uncovered the missing funding donor for the Eynesbury to Eatons Chav Superhighway. It appears that the unaccounted-for money, to the tune of a Rowley Million, has been put forward [Click to read more...]
Written by Francisco Sanchez on 11 August 2011
St Neots teens have tried and completely failed to start a riot in a copycat incident following disturbances in London and around the UK this week. Angry fourteen-year-olds – up to five of them – gathered on the Market Square last night [Click to read more...]
Written by Don Draper on 25 April 2011
St Neots girls were yesterday refused entry to the entire town of Stevenage after a case of mistaken identity led bouncers to believe they were pub-smashing ruffians. [Click to read more...]
Written by Citizen Editor on 04 April 2011
Hoodie yobs in St Neots report they are scared to leave their own homes after gangs of knife-happy pensioners began roaming the streets. Reports in local rags of a “grey crime-wave” only hint at the daily abuse suffered by local teens at [Click to read more...]
Written by Don Draper on 21 March 2011
Written by Citizen Editor on 08 February 2011
Written by Francisco Sanchez on 02 February 2011
Residents of Eaton Ford and Eaton Socon today expressed a lack of surprise that down-at-heel neighbour Eynesbury topped the crime statistics in a new “street-level crime map” by the police. Rozzers caused consternation in Cambridge when [Click to read more...]
Written by Thundopolous P. Staker on 30 January 2011
Written by Citizen Editor on 31 January 2010
A mysterious chav who no-one can name or identify has been handed a restraining order to ensure he stays the fuck out of Dodge. In fact, commenters on a local web forum were today at a loss to describe the person who has only been described in the [Click to read more...]