Commenting on a sensitive and delicate case, the anonymous councillor effectively ignored any logic and ended further debate by declaring “Stop it now. I’m right because I’ve chosen to make up my own question and provide the answer. Which is correct. And not wrong. Or inaccurate. End of.”

Police were immediately dispatched and should arrive any time between June and August to arrest the Councillor for breach of the Court Order. In the meantime a brain tag similar to those worn by ASBO Chavs around the ankle has been suggested for the accused. Court attendant Gordon Manchester said “That’s all very well but we can’t be sure where the brain is in this case. Placing it around the head may miss the target site. There is evidence  that the grey matter may well be in the arse or feet.”

The results of an MRI scan are awaited.

In fact, commenters on a local web forum were today at a loss to describe the person who has only been described in the news as “a man, or woman, between the ages of 15 and 50.” The alledged Nova-driving dole queue chav has been banned from entering the Duck Lane estate for two years following complaints by residents.

Police have asked locals to keep their eyes peeled, and report any presence on the estate of the ethereal knock-off Fred Perry wearer immediately.

Since he, she or it cannot actually be identified, police have asked residents not to call in but to use Facebook instead, to accuse whoever walks onto the estate swigging a can of Stella of being the elusive “Eastside Stalker”.

A spokesman said if the person is correctly identified, police will “like” the appropriate photo, which will warn others to stay extra vigilant. “Facebook vigilantism is the future of policing,” said St Neots police station’s cleaner. “It means we can get the public involved and have a legitimate excuse for being on various social networking sites during work hours. And it won’t cost us a bean.”

For once, not a single councillor was available to comment. We tried to reach councillor Dougall, but he refused to answer the phone for fear of breaking his own restraining order.

The councillor, who cannot be named, pleaded guilty to one case of thinking for himself and another two counts of harassment by dangerous thinking.

The charges were brought against him after a number of incidents in the Whitehall Walk and Duck Lane areas of Eynesbury in October last year.

The restraining order prevents him from entering into any illogical thought process for two years. Although saved from a 4 month prison sentence, any breach of the order and self-thinking without supervision will see the councillor removed from the area. The councillor was also ordered to remove any public admission of self-thinking and his profile on a local interweb forum has been altered accordingly.

Sandy Roxton, from the Eynesbury neighbourhood watch scheme, said: “This decision to curtail unpleasant incidents of anti-social self-thinking, at least in public, should send a strong message to any other wannabe’s trying to get their name in the paper.”

Councillor Terrence Dougall said “It’s good to see that an individual who caused a lot of grief to the residents of Eynesbury has been dealt with. Has anyone got a spare bed?”

Bertrand Russell was unavailable for comment.