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Thursday November 23rd 2017

Posts Tagged ‘St Neots’

Chavs Rubbish At Rioting

Chavs Rubbish At Rioting

St Neots teens have tried and completely failed to start a riot in a copycat incident following disturbances in London and around the UK this week. Angry fourteen-year-olds – up to five of them – gathered on the Market Square last night armed with pictures of [Read More]

Idiot Chavs “Nearly Killed Obama”

Idiot Chavs “Nearly Killed Obama”

Fresh reports from the scene of bin Laden’s death have revealed that the group of “hero-hoodies” from St Neots, who successfully carried out the assassination, nearly got the wrong man. Spokesman Darren Waynerightyeah was said to be [Read More]

Bin Laden Done In By Moody Chavs

Bin Laden Done In By Moody Chavs

The world celebrated last night after news that Osama bin Laden has been killed following a ten-year manhunt. However, it appears reports of a gun battle involving US Marines were in fact covering the true facts – a gang of moody St Neots chavs in fact carried out the [Read More]

St Neots Girls Mistaken For Stevenage Scum

St Neots Girls Mistaken For Stevenage Scum

St Neots girls were yesterday refused entry to the entire town of Stevenage after a case of mistaken identity led bouncers to believe they were pub-smashing ruffians. [Read More]

Internet Temporarily Pointless

Internet Temporarily Pointless

The internet was temporarily pointless today as Facebook went down. Local teens and timewasting office workers were at a loss as the social network announced that accounts were unavailable due to a site issue. “I didn’t know what to do,” said Chantelle [Read More]

Eastsiders Upset About Hedge

Eastsiders Upset About Hedge

Broadwalk residents had a good old whinge yesterday about trees that were put up to block out floodlights that they had previously had a good old whinge about. The infamous Leyland Cyprus hedge was planted behind Eynesbury Rovers’ football ground after neighbours [Read More]

Cambourne Not In Cambridge Shocker

Cambourne Not In Cambridge Shocker

Residents of Cambourne took the hump today after discovering that they were officially no longer in Cambridge. Since 2009, the new village has been served by the Citi 4 bus and paid the same fares as Cambridge city residents. But all this is to change, say bus company [Read More]

Everyone Misses War

Everyone Misses War

Residents surprised and divided over new scrap [Read More]

Marathon Show Leaves Man Stuck At Work

Marathon Show Leaves Man Stuck At Work

An attempt by Radio 1 presenters Chris Moyles and “Comedy” Dave Vitti to break the record for the longest continuous time on air has left an Eaton Socon man unable to leave work for over 24 hours. Kurt Anwell, 22, lives in Otter Way and works night shifts at a [Read More]

Arcade Distracts Youth For Six Minutes

Arcade Distracts Youth For Six Minutes

Hoodie chavs in town were this weekend distracted from sitting in the Market Square shouting at passing nans by new arcade Amuseworld, which opened on Saturday in the old Job Centre building. The arcade, which features 2p-push machines, classic Sega Rally, air hockey and [Read More]

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This Just In

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Neotians were this week beginning to prepare for 2014′s predicted favourite sport – namely, complaining [Read More]

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

District and county councillor Steve van der Whitevanman caused controversy this week after he definitely didn’t [Read More]

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Meat experts have today shocked the British public with the real reason behind the horse DNA contamination scandal. [Read More]

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, [Read More]

New School Thief-Proof

New School Thief-Proof

South Cambs DC have revealed that new secondary school Cambourne Village College is designed with special anti-theft [Read More]

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