Tag Archive
Tesco Trials New Car Park
Following a media furore this week when Tesco in Cardiff refused to allow a council estate dole queue mum into the store in her grotty pyjamas, the company are responding to customer criticism by trialling new forms of “sustainable transport parking facilities”, beginning with the St Neots site. Myfnwy Mwr, 28, complained after the... »
Cambourne Mums Can’t Keep Legs Together
Ladies in local new village Cambourne this week showed the world that their favourite hobby involved lying down on the job. A baby-boom in the overgrown housing estate means that Cambourne’s birth rate per thousand women, at 24.1, is now higher than that of India and China. In fact so many children are appearing... »
Local Store Accidentally Discovers Fireproof Money
Following a break-in at the Co-op food store in Great North Road, during which intruders attempted to gain access to the contents of the cash machine using a blow-torch, the manager has claimed to have discovered “Fireproof Money”. “Yep,” said Dave Bedejaz, 42. “They scorched the cash machine and the ceiling and all sorts,... »
Tesco "Still Not Mothership" Says Retailer
Supermarket giant Tesco today hit out at repeated claims that its St Neots store was “some kind of alien mothership”. Since this story was published in the Citizen six years ago, the chain has been dogged by claims of alien involvement. “This has simply got to stop,” said spokesman Ian Morrison. “Yes, I am well... »
Tesco "Not Mothership"
Tesco have denied claims that their St Neots store is an alien craft after Parklands residents reported an eerie green glow. The St Neots store was recently refurbished, and was advertised as being the first in the country to get the new “green glass” look. But residents of the Parklands estate, oppostie the store,... »
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