Tag Archive

Police Keen To Blame All Crimes On Unique

By Citizen Editor

Local law enforcers were today said to be glad that they had a scapegoat for every single crime committed in the five weeks that the Unique bar, on South Street, was open. “It seems a likely target,” said local copper PC George Plotkiss. “Now the bar has been shut down, we can say that... »

“No Such Thing As An Isolated Incident” Says Councillor

By Citizen Editor

Local councillor Steve van der Whitevanman hit out at claims that a man getting his ear bitten off and an attempted shooting at Unique this week were “isolated incidents”. “I find it hard to believe this was isolated,” said van der Whitevanman as the Citizen paraphrased his post from the St Neots forums. “Less... »