“It seems a likely target,” said local copper PC George Plotkiss. “Now the bar has been shut down, we can say that every crime committed in town while it was open was their fault, and subsequently say we’ve solved them all by closing them down.”

Former Unique staff were reluctant to comment.

“I find it hard to believe this was isolated,” said van der Whitevanman as the Citizen paraphrased his post from the St Neots forums. “Less than a few weeks ago there was a kidnapping, an ear bitten off and threats to stab, all of which happened in seperate places in the town centre. Now, despite the fact that the people responsible for these were caught and are currently behind bars, they must have something to do with this shooting – and I bet Unique are behind it.”

An anonymous member of Unique bar staff said “What a load of old shit. It ain’t like the bouncers are shooting back, is it?”

Whitevanman remains convinced that these and other incidents are linked, and believes the current wave of violence goes back further than anyone realises. “I would put money on that John Bellingham being involved,” spat the Eynesbury LibDem. Bellingham, a St Neots resident, assassinated Prime Minister Spencer Perceval on 11th May 1812.