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Saturday September 23rd 2017

Van Driver Disappointed By Back Door

white_van_dirtyA white van driver has expressed his dismay at the lack of humourous scrawlings in the dust on his back doors.

Fletcher Herlock, 35, began working for local firm Motorway Couriers three months ago and, having previously driven a grey van which did not show up dirt very well, was excited to learn that he would be driving a gleaming Mercedes Sprinter.

“I never washed the van,” said Herlock, of Dramsall Rise, “and left it parked out on the road overnight. I was looking forward to some amusing scrawlings to carry around the country with me on deliveries.”

However, the professional driver was disappointed. “Even after ninety days,” he said to the Citizen whilst dejectedly sponging half an inch of traffic film off his vehicle, “no ‘test dirt, do not clean’, no ‘don’t wash me, plant a tree’ – not even ‘I wish my missus was this dirty’. It really makes you wonder what the youth are up to these days.”

This reported didn’t have the heart to point out that Herlock had just inadvertently removed a rather impressive CDC from his back wheel arch.

Click for white van genius

 

Ken Faulstitch

Ken Faulstitch was born in New Jersey in 1921 and is still not dead. He remains a 31-year-old local news hack, is only available in black and white, and it still not sure whether this new-fangled internet thing will take off.

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