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Monday August 21st 2017

Where’s All The News?

Dear sir,

I’ve noticed a complete lack of news the last two weeks. What’s going on? Are we sliding back into the News Recession of 2010 as reported in your fine publication? I do hope not.

‘They’ need to do something about this and fast!

REO Slowaggon, Eaton Ford

Editor’s Note:

We don’t think the news is in recession again, but just to be sure we’ll be investigating all sorts of rubbish so that you can stay informed. There’s been little news the last few weeks as people have been behaving themselves. Nan-tagging is down a whopping 50% with only four grannies being spraypainted in the whole of February!

Citizenship

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