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Sunday December 17th 2017

Winter Weather In Winter Shocker

Councillors from the town, district and county councils deluged local papers with letters blaming each other for the inclement weather which has today replaced the lovely sun we had yesterday.

Within minutes of the first cloud looming into view over St Neots, cllr King Cooper of Priory Park ward was on to the Citizen to blame Tory Paul Marcel. “It’s just not on,” said Cooper, “it was lovely and sunny yesterday and now it’s all cloudy. Probably the Tories’ fault!”

Marcel, meanwhile, and colleague Larry Hackman, were quick to point the finger squarely at self-styled Eynesbury activists Steve van der Whitevanman and Terrence Dougall. “I thought summer had come,” said award-winning councillor Hackman, “and then it went cloudy and there was a little bit of rain. You don’t expect it, do you? Liberal wankers.”

A spokesman for the Met office said that he wasn’t sure why everyone was so taken aback. “Honestly, we have 24 hours of sunshine and everyone gets the SPF50 out. It’s still officially winter until the 23rd, and even then it’s only spring, so it’ll rain even more. Stop looking so shocked.”

Don Draper

Citizenship

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