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Tuesday December 11th 2018

Woman Cannot Park At Station

Local commuter Mo Ning arrived at St Neots station at 9.32 this morning, and was amazed to find there were no parking spaces.

 

“The car park was completely full,” said Miss Ning, who drove to the station after 9.30 to avoid the high parking charges before this time. “I don’t want to pay over three pounds to park my car. I only want to rent the space, not buy it.”

Fellow commuter John Sands, of Hail Weston, agreed. “It’s stupid,” he said. “People arrive at 7am and take all the spaces. It’s selfish.” When The Citizen suggested that this is necessary for people to get to work by nine, Mr Sands looked blank. “9? 9am? That means nothing to me,”

Citizen Editor

The Citizen Editor lives in Citizen Towers, on the town’s luxurious Westside. Rumoured to be nearly thirty, he has claimed to be 23 for the last few years and is currently also a grotty tax-dodging student.

His hobbies involve upsetting small villages and repeatedly giving up smoking. He drinks approximately a gallon of tea every day.

Citizenship
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